Learning From the Journey to Stay at the Destination

“…the gradual changes that are happening seem like the more permanent kind rather than a quick fix that's not going to last.” It’s statements like this that keep me encouraged as a person. Too often, we only go after things which we can achieve right away. Most things which we can gain in the little amount of time we desire are not gained in the right way, and usually are only temporary results. We have become people expecting great things without earning them.

The opening is from an email I received last week from a client who is turning her life around by changing her daily habits. She began her journey with hopes of improving her fitness. On her way towards her goals, she is discovering many other psychological, emotional, and personal gifts that come directly from benefitting from a healthy lifestyle.

Working with her has been very exciting for me because she came with the expectation that her goals would not be achieved without commitment on her part. Everything I have asked for, she has done. Everything I have asked her not to do, she has tried not to do. (Most of the time).

What I have learned from her is we have to appreciate progress. One step does not get us to reach our final goal. We have to see and appreciate each step we take, smile about it, then work on taking the next one. If we want to make permanent changes, we constantly need to understand each little change we are making and how it positively or negatively affects us.

Quick-fixes are attractive: little or no effort, awesome results. However, when we don’t go through the process to get those results, we don’t understand what it takes to get there. And if we don’t know how to get there, we won’t know how to stay there.

An Impactful Day With Dewey Nielson

I am currently reading The Education of Millionaires by Michael Ellsberg. One of the concepts has been finding mentors to learn from. Ellsberg discusses the importance of learning, applying, and learning again. Seeking out guidance from others who are successful in your field can be one of the most valuable resources for improvement. In a reference from a friend of mine, I reached out to Dewey Nielson, who runs Impact Performance Training in Newberg, Ore. Without a doubt, I gained some great knowledge from Dewey through conversation and observation. Also, he gave me a list of names, books, organizations, conferences, and resources that will help me continue to grow. Some key concepts that I took away from my visit at Impact not only apply to being a good trainer, but also apply towards anyone looking to achieve their goals.

5 concepts from Dewey Nielson that will Impact your life…

Logistics

A program is only good if it fits the situation and environment. “You can develop a great workout involving front squats. But if you got 12 athletes and one squat rack, the workout is going to be terrible.” Great ideas can become worthless if they are not within the parameters of what you are working with.

Adapt

Circumstances can change at any moment. You must be able to adapt and adjust with the resources you have to make the situation just as good as it would have been.

Recognize mistakes

“I love when clients say, ‘I could’ve done better.’ That means they learned a better way of doing something.” If you can recognize when you mess up or could have done something better, you can learn to correct it. Apply what you learned the next time around to attack the situation better.

Build your skill

“Whatever you do, find a way to do it better.” Read, attend seminars, listen. The bottom line; never stop learning. You will never know everything. There is always more to learn. You are not the best at what you do, but you can strive to become the best.

It’s all about them

Don’t get cocky. If you’re good at something, it’s because other people allow you to succeed. Put others first, because the people you serve are the ones who make you good at your job.

Check out Impact PT on Facebook!

The 100/0 principle: Creating great relationships

I have always tried to live a generous and thoughtful life, aiming to be selfless and not selfish. But I recently came across an idea that inspired me to change the way I build relationships. I first read about the 100/0 principle in Darren Hardy’s book The Compound Effect. It’s about taking control over the creation of successful relationships. “You have to be willing to give 100 percent with zero expectation of receiving anything in return. Only when you are willing to take 100 percent responsibility for making the relationship work, will it work. Otherwise, the relationship left to chance will always be vulnerable to disaster.”

Most people think of relationships as 50/50. I do this for you, you do that for me. I will sacrifice something, but only if you sacrifice something as well. These ideas give people the sense of “fair”, but will usually also bring a sense of resentment. Most importantly, it requires someone other than you to create a successful relationship. The principle of 100/0 goes against everything we are taught about fairness growing up. If one of our friends gave us a Squeeze-It, our parents made us give them something back in exchange, because it’s only fair, right? Thus, an expectation was created that if we do something for someone, they will do something for us in return. If they don’t, then why bother giving them our time, effort, or attention.

Implementing 100/0 in you lifestyle will boost your relationships, because what we do depends on OUR effort. WE are accountable for developing a positive relationship. Instead of complaining about someone not doing something, take the initiative to do it because you want your relationship with them to be strong. Before I give you some ideas of how you can start living 100/0, let’s clarify what this principle is NOT…

A non-stop charity – Living 100/0 does not mean giving all (if any) of your money, time, possessions away to people. In fact, much of the principle does not even imply spending money or buying gifts.

Letting people dominate you – You will not be considered soft for living this way. In order to successfully live 100/0, you must be principle driven. Your beliefs and values will not be compromised by giving without the expectation of return.

Making everything you do "volunteer"– If you work in the service business, living 100/0 does not mean that you work for free. This is your job, your trade. It is natural that you charge money for what you do.

Doing everything on your own – 100/0 is about doing things and acts to benefit relationships, not taking on twice your workload because someone is lazy. Know the difference between helping someone, and taking over their life. Also, make sure you know specifically which relationships are most important to you. Those are the ones which require the most attention.

Here are a few things you can do to implement the 100/0 principle into your life:

Do the little things that are not expected, but everyone desires Take the time to open the door for people who are walking through doorways at the same time. Help a person pick up something that they dropped. Go out of your way to do easy, unexpected acts that help people have better days.

Listen… Give people your attention if they are talking to you. Put your phone down! Make the person you are interacting with the most important person to you at that time. On a deeper level, listen to what people appreciate. Find out what their complaints are and what stresses them.

…understand… There are some things that other people value which may seem quite unimportant to us. We have the tendency to brush those things aside. Why bother if we don’t understand the significance, right? Truly understand why things are important to those close to you.

…Apply What is important to the people that are in your life? What signs have they given of what they value and appreciate? A long tradition in my family is leaving empty egg shells in the carton when we cook eggs. There is no purpose to this, but it’s what I have done my whole life. While I was cooking eggs at my girlfriend’s house one day, she expressed her displeasure of my habit. At first, I thought, “What’s the difference? Why would it matter that empty egg shells in the carton?” Then I realized, I was only asking myself what’s in it for me. I was being stubborn because it did not affect me. However, in the long run, my stubbornness would lead to her displeasure, which would cause friction in the relationship. Because it is important for her and I care about our relationship growing, I am now removing the empty egg shells.

Support other people’s goals We know how important our goals are. In trying to achieve our goals, we put everything we have into reaching the level we want to reach. If we give that same effort to supporting others’ goals, that value would mean more than any monetary value or gift. Go out of your way to do something that shows someone close to you how much you want to see them succeed. I have a friend who recently began eating primal. One of the easiest ways to fall of track is by not having enough food to eat. Knowing the difficulties of changing to a healthy lifestyle, I gave him the chicken and spinach lunch I had packed. This way he could suppress his hunger with something primal, but also know that I was really supporting him and pushing him to succeed.

Most importantly - - be genuine You can’t live 100/0 if you are bitter or feel cheated that you just did something good for somebody and they are not doing anything to pay you back. That’s the whole point! You have to be happy knowing that you are making someone's life better. Intentionally do those things for others, and soon you will be creating the best relationships of your life.

"The more you give, the more you get. The more you get, the more you get to give." -Michael Ellsberg

Getting In the Way of our Goals: Fear

“It is usually our fears that won’t allow us to access the answers that are already inside of our heart and mind.” -Hill Harper

So many things get in the way of us achieving our goals. Not enough time (Fear of hard-work). I don’t know how (Fear of learning). It’s not that important (Fear of what others think). I don’t need to do it (Fear of failure). I don’t want to look dumb (A combined fear of what others think and failure). The list goes on.

These are all excuses, and excuses project our fears. Fear is not natural. Fear is a copout, an easy way for us avoid commitment, pursuit of our desires, change, and, usually, failure. Who has succeeded without committing? Who has reached their desire without pursuing it? Who has reached a new level without changing what they do? And who has succeeded without failure?

Here are 4 simple things you can do to attack fear:

Wake up when you are supposed to

When the alarm goes off, get yourself out of bed. Hitting snooze, or sleeping in, allows our mind to escape the first task of the day. This sets the tone for the rest of the day.

Develop a morning routine

Getting ready for work in five minutes and flying out the door affects our mindset for the entire day. Find a way to start your day that allows you to mentally wake up. Try to include some morning time for personal development, visualization of your goals, or spiritual growth.

Identify your fears

Be conscious about your decisions throughout the day. If you find yourself rationalizing your fears, make a note of it. Find what is holding you back from becoming who you want to be.

Reflect

Don’t waste the day by allowing yourself to relive the same mistakes again. Think about what you did that got you closer to your goals, and what you did that limited your progress. Make a plan for how you will improve your shortcomings.

Using Failures to Find Success - Lessons From Senior Night

Coming off of a successful season as a junior, Taylor Mounts wanted more out of his senior season. He had earned Northwest Conference all-star honors, but had not propelled his team to a high level of play. For his last season as a Bearcat, he wanted not only to have another great season individually, but most importantly to get his team to the playoffs. He committed his off-season to working on skill development and overall conditioning, which included weight training, stair workouts, and hill sprints. He physically did more work to becoming a better athlete and player last summer than he previously had done his entire college career. He went all in on reaching his basketball goals. I was able to watch the Willamette University men’s basketball senior night, featuring Taylor Mounts. It was an inspiring performance with an ending that couldn’t have been more emotional. Taylor finished with 24 points, 7 rebound, 2 blocks, and 2 steals. The stat line was not the impressive part, however. It’s the process that Taylor took to get the senior night win.

Going in to senior night, Willamette had an overall record of 5-18 and was 3-11 in league. It was not the season Taylor had in mind when he was puking on the side of a quarter-mile hill during August. Their opponent, George Fox, was coming into the game with playoff hopes. At halftime, Willamette was down by eight, and Taylor was struggling with 7 points, shooting 3-9 from the field. With a season of continued losing behind him, it would be easy to coast through the 2nd half. But with the commitment Taylor made to improve as a player in the off-season and his “all-in” approach to maximize his potential as an athlete, he played the 2nd half like his season depended on it.

Taylor scored 17 points on 8-11 shooting with 7 rebounds in the 2nd half. He willed his team to overcome a 9-point deficit in the last 15 minutes. He scored the final 6 points for his team including a fadeaway jumper from the baseline that gave Willamette their first lead of the game with 6 seconds remaining. They had every opportunity to throw in the towel. Taylor’s leadership inspired his teammates, and his commitment to improvement inspired his will to win.

What I Learned on Senior Night…

The more you give, the more you resist failure

If you half-heartedly make an attempt at something, your failures along the way won’t be impactful. This leads to quitting. When you identify your goal, make sure that you a ready to go all in. Commit to achieving what you want to achieve. Then, when you have setbacks, you won’t quit. Those setbacks will motivate you to work harder and become more focused.

The more you commit, the more gratifying success will be

Willamette did not win a league title on senior night. But it was a win in front of the largest home crowd of the season during the last home game of Taylor’s career. The fact that he put all of his effort into becoming a better basketball player made that moment special. It was the chance for Taylor to produce results in front of the people who motivated him to commit to what he was doing. It wasn’t just a win, it was a celebration of achievement.

The more you care, the more you will commit

There’s nothing worse then trying to achieve something you do not care about. Make sure that you are reaching for something that inspires you. For anyone who has gone through a losing season, you know that each loss affects everyone in different ways. Some people (those who do not care about the team or sport) brush off each loss and find humor in the performance of their team. Others (the ones who are passionate about what they do), become eager to improve and perform better while inspiring their teammates to do the same.

Four C's to Maximize Your Potential

I originally wanted to write a quick blog to congratulate Jordan Carter of Corban University. But I began to think about what has made Jordan more successful on the basketball court than other recent Central Valley Conference all-league players. This past week, he was named Cascade Conference Player of the Week for the 2nd consecutive week. Jordan began working out with me in the summer of 2008. He was a good athlete, but not elite. He was a decent shooter, but not a pure shooter. He could dribble well, but was not a ball handler. He had the ability to score, but only had one move. However, his focus was not on being the best or scoring the most, but on maximizing his potential as a basketball player. Every drill was a competition against his last repetition. Each shot was a chance to improve his release. Since I first met Jordan in 2008, we have grown to become great friends. Getting to know him as a person helped me understand his values and his goals. Here are four C’s I have observed Jordan doing in order to maximize his potential.

Consistency

Darren Hardy defines “The Compound Effect” as “small, simple choices + consistency + time = your desired level of success.” Everything that Jordan does is consistent. From his time commitment to his improvement as a player and athlete to his effort he gives in each drill. Most importantly, his attitude and mindset are both consistent as well. Developing consistent attendance and participation with consistent physical effort and mental focus will help you maximize your potential. This is the underlying factor towards fulfilling your potential.

Coachability

When I first met Jordan in the gym, he was coming off of a year in which he started as a Sophomore on a 2nd-place team and was named first team all-Central Valley Conference. His coach was one year removed from being named CVC Coach of the Year, and I was one year removed from college with a single year of assistant coaching experience. I did not expect Jordan to be as willing to listen to my instructions as he was. Every time I corrected something, he fixed it without any questions asked. If you go through your journey thinking you can figure everything out on your own, you are setting yourself up for failure. Admitting you do not know everything takes courage, but will also help you develop skills and ideas you never knew existed. Learn from others and take advice from people who have been where you want to be.

Community

Jordan’s main concern as his high school basketball career was coming to an end was not in trophies, records, or wins. He was focused on leaving a legacy within the basketball program that would last well beyond his graduation. One of the ways he worked towards this was by working with the younger players in the off-season. He passed on knowledge that was shared with him by his coaches in order to imprint his personal values on the program. Chauncey Billups credits former teammate Sam Mitchell for the best advice he was ever given: “Help the player on your right, help the player on your left, and the one who benefits the most is the one in the middle.” Sharing what you have learned is a great way to spark creativity and develop new thoughts towards achieving your goal. Not only is community about who you are sharing knowledge with, but also who you are surrounding yourself with. Jordan's inner-circle consisted of people like him who were hard-workers and had good character. Kyle Morrow, CEO of ThirstTees, says the number one lesson of how to be successful is that you are constantly becoming the average of the five people you are closest with. Surround yourself with people who are working towards maximizing their potential. A constant exchange of ideas and a strong system of accountability will push you beyond what you ever expected.

Courage

There were so many times when Jordan was working out that you could tell he was exhausted, physically uncomfortable, and ready to call it a day. But he found a way to escape his comfort zone, push through the physical pain and mental block, and finish his job. Naturally, it is scary to push yourself when you are out of breath or your legs feel like giving in. However, if you never leave your comfort zone, you are never going to move forward. Staying comfortable holds back progress. Going outside of your comfort zone brings new levels of achievement. Allow yourself to be put into a position to achieve more than you desire.

Finding Inspiration to Gain Motivation

If you are motivated, then eating clean and developing a consistent exercise plan is not difficult at all. When we are focused on attaining a specific goal for a purpose we have decided is a priority to us, we will be willing to do anything to reach it. We will stay disciplined, evaluate our progress, and commit to improvement. The hard part is finding that motivation to drive us to stay focused. So many people say that they want a better body, or they want to be more toned/cut/lean. Then, when the advice comes and they realize that it will take commitment and dedication, they decide that it is not worth it. Sure, they want a better body, but they have no real reason to be motivated. Only a small percentage of people can truly be motivated by what they see in the mirror. Most people need something else.

Like I said in The Story of Dynamic Player Development and The Story of Dynamic Fitness, my motivation was found in my desire to be the best basketball player I could be. I gained discipline in eating productively and developed a work ethic towards improving my fitness. While I no longer play basketball, the habits stuck with me because I was, and still currently am, realizing the benefits of a healthy lifestyle.

So how do we find what motivates us? It can be very difficult. There are extrinsic things that can motivate us, like signing up for a triathlon or gearing up for a vacation to Hawaii and making sure you look good on the beach. These can work initially, but you still need to find a way to make sure you are living a healthy lifestyle once that event passes. My extrinsic goal was to become a better basketball player. Once I stopped playing, I gained intrinsic motivation because of the benefits I felt from living healthy.

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” -Albert Einstein

Intrinsic motivation is self-made. Only each individual can find what motivates them intrinsically. If you are struggling to find motivation intrinsically, yet you desire a change in your fitness and health, you need to change your daily habits (and I’m not just talking nutrition and exercise). I’m talking about changing your routine to open yourself up to inspiration and allow yourself to be motivated. It can be drastic (example, exchanging your 2-hour evening TV session for a reading session), or it can be small (watching an educational show instead of a MTV Made re-run). Most importantly, it needs to be something different than what you’re used to.

Think about what you do, and commit yourself to finding one thing you can change this week. Cook a whole-food breakfast instead of having cereal. Follow someone on Twitter who posts meaningful thoughts (try @alanstein) instead of brainless ignorance (like @whiteboytatted). Read an article on personal development instead of story explaining why Kim K really got divorced. Take this week to start finding inspiration that will spark you to become intrinsically motivated to living a healthy lifestyle.

Become an S.O.B. Person

Let me tell you a story about John. Through what he did yesterday, from talking with one of my friends about it, and from watching the video I have posted below, he has defined what an S.O.B. (Shortness of Breath) person is.

Eric Thomas Speech

John plays JV basketball at the school I coach at. He was invited to his first varsity practice yesterday as a reward for being exactly what we look for in a player. During a competitive drill, his team, the green team, lost and was forced to run a set of eight (sprinting from sideline-to-sideline eight times). In his first varsity practice, John beat every varsity player on the green team that ran with him.

Questioning how a JV player would beat half of the varsity team, how a JV player would outwork varsity players, coach put the remaining players, the white team, who did not run on the line. Along with John (remember, he just finished sprinting). John beat four out of the seven players on the white team. Coach quickly put the green team back on the line. Along with John. This time every member of the green team beat him (remember, he just finished sprinting two sets of eight). Coach put the members of the white team who lost to John in the sprint back on the line. Along with John. This time they beat him (remember, he just sprinted three sets of eight with no rest).

When John finished, he was experiencing a severe asthma attack. He was going through the shortness of breath that Eric Thomas talks about in the video clip (around 2:20). After he recovered from his attack, my friend talked to John about the sprints. John said that he didn’t care if it was his fist time with the varsity, he was going to beat everybody. He ended up not being able to breathe. He wanted to succeed more than he wanted to breathe. After the four sprints, he had worked to the point where he only remembered running the first two. He worked to the point where he experienced shortness of breath, and then he kept working. He exceeded his expectations by this. (S.O.B. person)

“When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, that’s when you’ll be successful.” -Eric Thomas

In order to maximize our potential, we have to be willing to work though uncomfortable situations. We have to be committed enough to do things that we do not want to do and go beyond our comfort zone. If we stay in our comfort zone, we will never get to the point of shortness of breath. When we get outside our comfort level and work beyond what anyone that we were capable of, we become S.O.B. people. Don’t stop working when you’re only waist deep. To reach your potential, you have to get your head under water.

New Year's Resolutions

“Success comes to those who have an entire mountain of gold that they continually mine, not those who find one nugget and try to live on it for fifty years.” -John C. Maxwell

New Year’s resolutions are often criticized. Most often, they should be. Inspired for the first part of January, we look forward to our new goal. Soon we hit a wall, and realize that we are living the exact same way we were living a few weeks ago. We get comfortable, and our resolution waits until next year. Our next thought: why did I even try? I’m offering a new look at a resolution. Most resolutions look something like, “I’m going to lose 10 pounds.” But what comes next? Even if you reach the 10 pounds, what comes next? Instead of a short-term goal that lasts, at most, a month, we should be shooting for a resolution that will stick with us our whole life. Imagine adding one new characteristic, skill, or element to your life every year. Think of the things you could accomplish. Rather than wanting to lose 10 pounds, dedicate the year to developing a healthy lifestyle that will last for a lifetime. I guarantee, if you are out of shape, you will lose the 10 pounds you wanted to lose. If you have a hard time with sticking with goals, you can start with something small. Maybe you’re inactive and spend too much time watching TV. You can start by limiting your TV time by 30 minutes per day. In that time, you could do something much more meaningful and fulfilling than watching a re-run of Seinfeld. If you think of yourself as well-disciplined, shoot for something bigger. Maybe take a year to learn a new language. Find something that will drive you to succeed. Also, make sure that you do not try to succeed on your own. Find the people in your life that will support you and keep you accountable. So many great ideas have never developed because they were too daunting for one person to take on. Tell the people that you know will keep you on track. Expand what you know. Think about what you have always wanted to accomplish, and work towards it. You may not be able to give up your life to become a full-time actor (if that’s your passion), but it might be possible to sign up for a local acting class. We were meant to be productive, we were meant to inspire ourselves and others. Fulfill your passions. Keep gaining knowledge.